Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Welcome!
My first book, Chronicles of a Cutie: Terrible Twos is coming soon. Here's the first peek at it.


That’s me on the cover of this book. At least, the people tell me that’s me.
They could be lying, but when I pass by a mirror, the face I see it appears to be me.
I was one when that picture was taken. It was at my first party. I’m pretty cute, huh?
Yeah, I think so, too.
This is essentially where my story started, around my first birthday, and really got interesting when I turned two.
Some people ask, “Why not start the book at one, since that’s the picture on the front?”
Well, here’s the deal. That year was crazy, and honestly, I slept a lot. I don’t remember much of it.
You see, when you arrive in this world, you spend the first year of your life wondering what happened to you. After all, for nine months you were warm and cozy, and surrounded by a soft blanket and protection.
Then, without warning—and very suddenly, I might add — you’re pushed through a tube into a strange man’s hairy arms and bam, deal with it.
Like I said, no warning at all.
These people, who I know now as my parents, took me home, held me close, and gave me what I wanted. Milk. Sure I wanted other stuff, but the milk seemed to be satisfying. And at the time, I wasn’t aware there was anything else.
Moving through the days, I slept. And slept some more.
Look at me right there. I’m the one swaddled in the blanket so tight my head is turning purple, but they don’t know the difference. They think I just have gas. It’s not that at all. I just wanted some blood to return to my head, so I cried.
That’s when I got what I wanted. See?
A woman appeared, who I learned very early on came any time I cried, so, like any child, I used that to my advantage. If I’m hungry, she feeds me. If I’m tired, she holds me. If I’m wet, she changes me. It’s a very good deal.
Look for the book at the end of November on Amazon and Barnes and Noble!